Welcoming the New Year...

"In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different."
-Coco Chanel

The first year I had my own classroom was a refreshing experience. It was my haven, and gave me the opportunity to be the kind of teacher I had wanted to be. I was still a fresh sponge that had absorbed brilliant ideas from a talented master teacher, Lindsey. To say the least, I was exorbitantly excited to venture out on my journey as an educator. I was fresh-faced, eager, and green! However, in many ways I feel that I was truer to myself the first year that I taught. I was the 7th grade homeroom teacher and taught history and theology. It was amazing teaching the subjects that I was fascinated by. This fascination allowed my passion and enthusiasm to burn through my day to day lessons. The sky was the limit and my students even built mosques, pyramids, and debated on ratifying the constitution.

This first year gave me the self assurance that I was good at what I did, but now looking back I realize that perhaps my true self has been lost. Teaching is a messy world I have discovered. A world in which the older generation of teachers think they are correct and expect you to conform, even if that means giving up your own teaching practice. I have been looking at my practice more the closer we approach the new year and have found that I am tired of being a drone. I am tired of following suit because everyone else does. There is no point in being a door mat and it is sad that educators let themselves be negatively influenced by their surroundings.

Don't get me wrong, in no way am I trying to preach to the choir; in many ways I am performing therapy on myself and taking you along for the ride. I am guilty! I have lost my true practice in the jumble of insecurity that has become my life. I have stopped doing fun activities because my class is supposed to be QUIET. I like order and rules but come on, who the heck expects that learning is best done only when the classroom is quiet? I refuse to continue to lose myself in what is "correct" for others. Perhaps, this has all happened because I share a classroom and that other person is such a "straight arrow". All I know is that I am sick and tired of letting other people's negativity and petty insecurities affect me and my life. We are each our own person and unique, how dare someone strive to change another person for the worse?