Welcoming the New Year...

"In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different."
-Coco Chanel

The first year I had my own classroom was a refreshing experience. It was my haven, and gave me the opportunity to be the kind of teacher I had wanted to be. I was still a fresh sponge that had absorbed brilliant ideas from a talented master teacher, Lindsey. To say the least, I was exorbitantly excited to venture out on my journey as an educator. I was fresh-faced, eager, and green! However, in many ways I feel that I was truer to myself the first year that I taught. I was the 7th grade homeroom teacher and taught history and theology. It was amazing teaching the subjects that I was fascinated by. This fascination allowed my passion and enthusiasm to burn through my day to day lessons. The sky was the limit and my students even built mosques, pyramids, and debated on ratifying the constitution.

This first year gave me the self assurance that I was good at what I did, but now looking back I realize that perhaps my true self has been lost. Teaching is a messy world I have discovered. A world in which the older generation of teachers think they are correct and expect you to conform, even if that means giving up your own teaching practice. I have been looking at my practice more the closer we approach the new year and have found that I am tired of being a drone. I am tired of following suit because everyone else does. There is no point in being a door mat and it is sad that educators let themselves be negatively influenced by their surroundings.

Don't get me wrong, in no way am I trying to preach to the choir; in many ways I am performing therapy on myself and taking you along for the ride. I am guilty! I have lost my true practice in the jumble of insecurity that has become my life. I have stopped doing fun activities because my class is supposed to be QUIET. I like order and rules but come on, who the heck expects that learning is best done only when the classroom is quiet? I refuse to continue to lose myself in what is "correct" for others. Perhaps, this has all happened because I share a classroom and that other person is such a "straight arrow". All I know is that I am sick and tired of letting other people's negativity and petty insecurities affect me and my life. We are each our own person and unique, how dare someone strive to change another person for the worse?

Winter Break...

It is 11:30 p.m. and as I sit here on my couch, lavishing in my vacation, my thoughts seemingly drifted towards work. A job as an educator seems to be a huge responsibility for the person standing in the front of the classroom. As I type this statement the realization hit me that our students do not see us as people, they see us as aliens. We are completely foreign to them. We do not use the restroom, we do not drive or drink tea, we definitely do not eat, and God forbid they see us walking around a mall being 'normal.' Teachers are foreign, mysterious, and sometimes the bane of their existence. Most educators try to desperately connect with their students in order to humanize the relationship we conduct. Others 'get off' on the idea of being the dictator, telling them what to do and how to do it. These educators know that they will listen.

I am enjoying my vacation from my life of acting, teaching, and learning. Let's face it, in front of the class we put on a happy face, act as if everything is great and divulge a world of knowledge. In my classroom the students are invited into this wonderful world of learning, but to be engaging all of the time is exhausting! It is wonderful to know that I am getting across and the students are enjoying the process, yet a break seems to be refreshing. I find myself more and more tired day after day and I know that this is not how I want to be forever.

During my break I was given a cake order for a surprise birthday party and it was amazing to immerse myself into this passion. I haven't had a cake order in a long time and it was refreshing not to be putting on a show in front of wide-eyed students. I wish vacation lasted forever.. sadly it won't and I will continue my life teaching and putting on an entertaining and enlightening show. In the meantime, let's continue the vacation and enjoy the beautiful beaches of Playa del Carmen.

Culture...

Today is the eve of the 25th day of Kislev. This all translates to the beginning of Hanukkah at sundown! Why is this important? Teaching at a Catholic junior high school and being the religion teacher, this is not something I would be expected to know or teach. However, I feel it is extremely important to teach my religion students tolerance. Many of them this year are of Jewish faith and it has been very uncomfortable to have to learn about Catholic traditions. Some have been resistant and upset about having to be in a Catholic religion class. The others have been open and then I have the ones that are in between feelings.

Since September I have been trying to teach them tolerance and respect for other beliefs. Today was the day I chose to teach my Catholic or Christian students tolerance of the Jewish faith. Today my Jewish students felt at home in my class. It was great for them to be the teachers! They had so much knowledge to impart and their classmates were in aw! It would be a wonderful place if we could all take the time to teach our students tolerance!