Thank you Martin Luther King, Jr.

For those of you that may not know, today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day. In my book he is infamous, not famous and I can only hope that my children will appreciate his efforts as much as I do. My mom remembers him as a great leader, powerful speaker, and tragic story. I realize that as the generations pass by those leaders that caused an impact for better or worse slowly begin to become obsolete. I think of Adolf Hitler and the hatred that has always been associated with him when you utter his name. Now I mention him in my classroom and my students say in unison, "who is that," and then that is followed up with,"oh, that is the guy that killed a lot of people." To me he is more than just the "guy who killed a lot people", he too is infamous. What is happening to our historical knowledge? Aren't we supposed to be learning about the past in order to learn for the future?

Subjects, Predicates, and Verbs.. OH MY!

Final exams are next week and frankly I think our students may be a little too young to handle the stress. I began to question why in the world I fall into the trap of giving finals and I think it is good to see all that they have learned grandly displayed on a scantron. Yet, I do not like seeing the kids stress out over what is going to be on there and the mnemonic devices (songs they made up) are driving me insane. Mostly, finals are driving me to the point of exhaustion and craziness. Yesterday, I felt like I wasn't even present at the school. I sort of floated around like a mindless zombie waiting for another break to come.

Today I decided to hold a review day, in which the students came up to the SmartBoard and tried to identify various parts of speech. As we were discussing why an adverb could modify another adverb - exciting discussion I know - all of the kids began to sound like the teacher on Charlie Brown.

"Mrs. B why does 'wah,wah,wah'?" is what I kept hearing.

It appalled me that they didn't know a verb from a stinking subject, even worse the fact that they couldn't identify a conjunction at all angered me. I began to sink into my chair and recall all of the games we had played and review days we had accomplished. I came to the happy, naive notion that they were just kidding with me. They really knew this stuff all along. Then by the end of the review, as we were discussing any confusions, it all seemed to click for them. Ugh! The frustration leading up to this moment somehow disappeared and I was relieved to say the least. It frightens me that our children cannot seem to retain information. Their active brains are too plugged into the television and computer that it causes them to be mentally sedentary. How to fix it?! How to change it?!

Welcoming the New Year...

"In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different."
-Coco Chanel

The first year I had my own classroom was a refreshing experience. It was my haven, and gave me the opportunity to be the kind of teacher I had wanted to be. I was still a fresh sponge that had absorbed brilliant ideas from a talented master teacher, Lindsey. To say the least, I was exorbitantly excited to venture out on my journey as an educator. I was fresh-faced, eager, and green! However, in many ways I feel that I was truer to myself the first year that I taught. I was the 7th grade homeroom teacher and taught history and theology. It was amazing teaching the subjects that I was fascinated by. This fascination allowed my passion and enthusiasm to burn through my day to day lessons. The sky was the limit and my students even built mosques, pyramids, and debated on ratifying the constitution.

This first year gave me the self assurance that I was good at what I did, but now looking back I realize that perhaps my true self has been lost. Teaching is a messy world I have discovered. A world in which the older generation of teachers think they are correct and expect you to conform, even if that means giving up your own teaching practice. I have been looking at my practice more the closer we approach the new year and have found that I am tired of being a drone. I am tired of following suit because everyone else does. There is no point in being a door mat and it is sad that educators let themselves be negatively influenced by their surroundings.

Don't get me wrong, in no way am I trying to preach to the choir; in many ways I am performing therapy on myself and taking you along for the ride. I am guilty! I have lost my true practice in the jumble of insecurity that has become my life. I have stopped doing fun activities because my class is supposed to be QUIET. I like order and rules but come on, who the heck expects that learning is best done only when the classroom is quiet? I refuse to continue to lose myself in what is "correct" for others. Perhaps, this has all happened because I share a classroom and that other person is such a "straight arrow". All I know is that I am sick and tired of letting other people's negativity and petty insecurities affect me and my life. We are each our own person and unique, how dare someone strive to change another person for the worse?

Winter Break...

It is 11:30 p.m. and as I sit here on my couch, lavishing in my vacation, my thoughts seemingly drifted towards work. A job as an educator seems to be a huge responsibility for the person standing in the front of the classroom. As I type this statement the realization hit me that our students do not see us as people, they see us as aliens. We are completely foreign to them. We do not use the restroom, we do not drive or drink tea, we definitely do not eat, and God forbid they see us walking around a mall being 'normal.' Teachers are foreign, mysterious, and sometimes the bane of their existence. Most educators try to desperately connect with their students in order to humanize the relationship we conduct. Others 'get off' on the idea of being the dictator, telling them what to do and how to do it. These educators know that they will listen.

I am enjoying my vacation from my life of acting, teaching, and learning. Let's face it, in front of the class we put on a happy face, act as if everything is great and divulge a world of knowledge. In my classroom the students are invited into this wonderful world of learning, but to be engaging all of the time is exhausting! It is wonderful to know that I am getting across and the students are enjoying the process, yet a break seems to be refreshing. I find myself more and more tired day after day and I know that this is not how I want to be forever.

During my break I was given a cake order for a surprise birthday party and it was amazing to immerse myself into this passion. I haven't had a cake order in a long time and it was refreshing not to be putting on a show in front of wide-eyed students. I wish vacation lasted forever.. sadly it won't and I will continue my life teaching and putting on an entertaining and enlightening show. In the meantime, let's continue the vacation and enjoy the beautiful beaches of Playa del Carmen.

Culture...

Today is the eve of the 25th day of Kislev. This all translates to the beginning of Hanukkah at sundown! Why is this important? Teaching at a Catholic junior high school and being the religion teacher, this is not something I would be expected to know or teach. However, I feel it is extremely important to teach my religion students tolerance. Many of them this year are of Jewish faith and it has been very uncomfortable to have to learn about Catholic traditions. Some have been resistant and upset about having to be in a Catholic religion class. The others have been open and then I have the ones that are in between feelings.

Since September I have been trying to teach them tolerance and respect for other beliefs. Today was the day I chose to teach my Catholic or Christian students tolerance of the Jewish faith. Today my Jewish students felt at home in my class. It was great for them to be the teachers! They had so much knowledge to impart and their classmates were in aw! It would be a wonderful place if we could all take the time to teach our students tolerance!

Crunch time...

This is the time when the temperature gets cooler, the kids are sleepier, and everyone is antsy for Christmas break. Fighting against all of the external forces can be difficult. Trying to motivate the students is harder and making the material jump out and speak to them becomes nearly impossible. Today, I found myself giving them the majority of the period to work on their English project. They were happy and I was bored. I feel that sometimes they need a break from the monotony of everyday school, but I find that the students are becoming increasingly unmotivated as my teaching experience grows. It leaves me wondering what children will be like 10 years from now. Will they simply expect a lot of periods to work on projects? Will they be more dependent and complain more often? How can we reverse the effect the world is having on our children?

Observations...

I often observe one of my colleagues teach. One day I watched on from the back of the classroom as she was teaching a group of 7th graders. She stood in front of the class dumping information in, and the students would politely nod when she asked if they understood. She has never taken the time to learn anything about them and this works for her, but the students feel and show disconnect with her. It saddened me to think that when they thought of their 7th grade English class years later they were going to have this impression engrained in their minds forever. In some way she has adopted the bureaucratic mindset on teaching and it will be very hard to change. I wonder if she can change?